Healthcare Explorers Gifts

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

Exploring Healthcare Careers

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'I don't know, doc. I'm okay. It's just that I don't feel as happy as a clam.'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

Dynamic Decision Makers: Will Probably Be back in an Hour or so

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

A man's health care options.

'There's been a little mixup, Mr. Root. The computer has the virus not you.'

Clearly, you've been burning the candle at both ends, Mr. Fusco. You have the wick of a man twice your age.

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

'Our experimental laser O.R. is in there.'

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

Health costs soaring in the U.S., Americans are going to other countries for medical care.

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

'Has the medication had any other side effects?'

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

Aromatherapy.

'I quit the medication. It gave me lots of zippity, but took away my doo dah.'

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'