Healthcare Critique Lovers Gifts

'Of course, you're welcome to a second opinion from our HMO's insurance executive.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Have you drugged your child today?

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Republican Healthcare

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."