Health Watchdog Gifts

"Oh my, your blood's boiling."

GPs asked to solve rising obesity levels..."I read in the papers that I'm fat and you've got to sort it out!"

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"These drugs are nearing their expiry dates - gotta use 'em up!"

"So what are we all dying of this morning?"

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Don't worry, officer. It's just disinfectant!"

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

"Do you mind taking that unhealthy habit out of the garden bar?"

'Okay - anybody who is still paralyzed because my 250-Euro wonder cure hasn't worked, get up and shake your arms and I'll pay back the money!'

Government and heads of industry issued an official statment which condemned the report as irresponsible scaremongering... This is it...we're all gonna die.

Carcinogens, Inc.

'Yeah, I gave the teacher an apple, but it was sprayed with Alar.'

' I told him those cigars would kill him...'

"Would you please pick up the wrapping paper? We set great store by cleanliness."

An ounce of prevention rose again, ending the date 3.86 pounds of cure.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

CIA report

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

Police Statetion

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

Studied the Constitution. Didn't like it.

Legalish

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty