Health Standards Guardian Pillows

"I've had this eerie feeling I'm being followed!"

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Covid Shield

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Hospital.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Ready or not, here I come!'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

Man rides on a vaccine in a sea of COVID-19 molecules.

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"Will he be okay?"

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

"Okay, there's your flu shot...now let's talk about that blood pressure!"

Parenting Wonks

"I lobby for rich people."

Flu Shot

"And when exactly did your interest in health and safety start?"