Health Standards Pillows

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Vlad the Inhaler

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'