Health Screening Reminder Pillows

"It's beautiful days like this that remind me how much I don't want to get a colonoscopy."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

PSA Banter.

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Take up some light exercise or a sporting activity - as a football perhaps."

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

'You're not totally out of shape - you have a very muscular tongue.'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

"Smoke, drink and womanize as much as you like but don't forget to update your will..."

"Your results show you have the body of a young man, unfortunately it's an very obese young man with chronic health problems."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

Man checks the gears in his chest.

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

"Interesting greeting ritual."

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

"Wow. Suddenly I've got fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, headaches and body aches, chills, and fatigue."