Health-savvy Senior Gifts

'The 'senior special' was two eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, hash browns and buttered toast for only $1.99. However, the two cholesterol lowering pills, I had to take, were four dollars each.'

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Typewriters and Laptops.

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Follow me on Twitter...

Silver Surfer.

"I've gone electric, you should be too!"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

Stop smoking,instantly.

The Hybrid

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Grandad Prodigy

I'm a child of the early 5o's who has found time in retirement to become tech savvy. You're a mid-century modern.

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

The older I get, the more of my memory I outsource to Google.

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

The walking frame for the mobile immobile.

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

"It's the orthopedist's parts department. Your knees are in."