Health Regime Renegade Gifts

New in fitness: Health club truancy officers.

'Let's not go by the book.'

"We won!"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

Time's running out for Africa

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

Medicare: More is Better!

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"I want you to start thinking back inside the box."

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

'Yeah, I used to live with thousands of my friends in the kitchen of a restaurant, but for some reason, it was closed down...'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

Devil-may-care loans.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

First fisherman says, 'What happens if the DNR finds us?' Other replies, 'Let's just hope they're into catch and release.'

"Your businessman's lunch, sir - But you need to sign this compliance self-audit checklist first.

"We are able to extend your life for another two weeks, but you must eat wisely and get plenty of exercise."

Grim liberty

Health Shop: 'Got anything more exciting?' 'Sure, under the counter we've got beefburgers and chips...and cream cakes!'

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

"Not giving up my civil rights."

Animal rights and vegetable rights protesters battle each other.

'Human Rights? You want to talk about Human Rights?? What the heck are you - a bloody communist??!'

"I warned you not to mix the vitamin pills." - Vomiting letters of the alphabet.

'How come Zorro's mother let him draw on walls.'

Nutri-Corp HQ. The FDA says we can call our speedy breakfast "enriched," "fortified" and "improved", but we can't call it food.