Health Advice Renegade Gifts

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

'Good heavens, Margaret, the bailout was for wall street, not for you.'

TV tie-in book signpost.

New in fitness: Health club truancy officers.

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'I think my work here is done.'

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"You're my second opinion. . . my wife was my first."

'Let's keep this simple - what part of you doesn't hurt?'

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."

"Don't eat so fast"

"Baldo, when's the last time you read a book?"

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

Infodemic

"Give it to me straight, Doc. How long do I have to ignore your advice."

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

'When I said to eat a varied diet I didn't just mean buying all 12 varieties of Krispysnax noodles!'