Health Nut In Denial Pillows

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Tangled facing dog...

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

'I always watch what I eat - right up until it disappears into my mouth.'

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

"It's a warning from the American Hypochondriacs Association -- you've been overprescribing placebos."

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

"I warned you not to mix the vitamin pills." - Vomiting letters of the alphabet.

'We try to keep it quiet, but the chef slips in a lot of organic and vitamin-enriched food.'

"You don't think I'm cheating on my special, low-carb diet, do you?"

"It's organ-ic!"

'Fad Diet regulator'.

"I lost a fortune in the market but I thought I had my health."

Breakfast of champions

Bob's system was totally out of whack – but he knew where he could get more.

The Un-healthy Supermarket

Why George finds it hard to lose weight.

'Hey guys, there's a puddle of sick over there, if you fancy some fruit and veg.'

'The law requires me to inform you that everything you've ordered may be hazardous to your health.'

'They tired to put healthy snacks in the vending machines but the rotting food slows productivity!'