Health Motivator T-Shirts

'It's not an actual motorcycle. It's an exercise bike. I made it look like one so my husband would actually use it.'

"So, always remember to bring your fat guy inside when temperatures are above 70 degrees. And, also remember that I am not only the spokesman and advocate, but I am also a fat guy. Thank you."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'I made my own list of My World's 100 Most Powerful Women!'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

GCSEs

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Sinking sales

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

The 6 A.M. News Team

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Every Day is a Gift

"It's Friday and the boss put 3 sugars in his coffee! It's going to be a good day."

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

Fat Britain

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

"Why would I sign up for a marathon? Well, Coubertin said it best: "the most important thing is not to win, but to take part"..."

'I don't want just a 'yes man'! I want a 'yes man' with spirit, pep and enthusiasm!'

"This is your wake up call! It's 6:15 AM. The temperature is 57°. Have a pleasant day."

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

How to show some hustle.

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

"Are you talking to amoeba?"

Perks of self-employment.

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

"I'm a weight-loss motivator. I tell people that if they don't eat right and exercise, they will look like me."

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"

"To motivate me to walk farther, I hired my jerk ex-boyfriend to follow me."