Health Maven Gifts

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

The end is near

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

The Canary in the Coal Mine

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Punch Magazine - "You've got a circulation problem."

Vaccine hurdles

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

Who Wore It Best?

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Where does it hurt?'

ANd the Oscar for the best special side effects goes to ASTRAZENECA!

"It's 'Architectural Digest.' "