Health Insurance Warrior Pillows

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

"We've done some tests, and whatever you have you can't afford it."

'The good news is you're no longer in denial. The bad news is your health insurance is.'

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

'I did everything I could, but I'm still only going to make about $40,000 on this operation.'

"Will Obamacare cover my blabbermouthing?"

"I have to warn you, this procedure will be painful, particularly to your wallet."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Hot Pie Therapy

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Exercising

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.