Health Warriors Pillows

'You need to stop smoking. It's really not that hard. I've done it myself several times.'

Man who has had bronchitis

'He started smoking again because he misplaced the remote control!'

Hillary knew to not get too excited about being in remission since bad news could again come out of nowhere.

'I feel stressed, one cigarette won't hurt.'

"Whereas the alcoholic living in an urban area, who eats high cholesterol foods and smokes three pack a day..."

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"I spent the summer wearing a mask, washing my hands, and social distancing."

SHUTDOWN

"It was me who got you where you are today. . ."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Exercising

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Vaccine

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'