Health Insurance Warrior T-Shirts

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

"We've done some tests, and whatever you have you can't afford it."

'The good news is you're no longer in denial. The bad news is your health insurance is.'

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

'I did everything I could, but I'm still only going to make about $40,000 on this operation.'

"Will Obamacare cover my blabbermouthing?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Exercising

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'