Health Insurance Warriors Pillows

"I'm sure it's something serious. My HMO dropped me two months ago."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Exercising

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"I told him he should have trained more."

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"I'm sorry, but you've had it up to here."

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

Life on Earth - My soul is thin.

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

If you thought that congress was going to work to drive down prescription drugs costs. . . dream on.

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

'Well, Mrs.Gurkemiller...Either your female cycle has turned to European summer time, or you're pregnant.'

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"