Health Hibernator Gifts

'Poor Jenkins passed on. He worked here for 42 years, he never called in sick and he always worked overtime. What an idiot.'

Welcome Spring.

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Hibernating! C'mon guys, I was only hibernating."

"I'm sorry, sir, but Professor Dornley does not wish to be distracted for the duration of the winter."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

The Off-Season

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Jeez, Honey, will you hurry up in there? I've been hibernating all winter, too, y'know!"

'Your snoring kept me awake all through December!'

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

"Did you know that someday astronauts may put themselves into deep hibernation to artificially shorten the grueling journey to their ultimate destination? Wake me up on Christmas morning."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

After 5 months in hibernation, Clyde needed a real 'pick-me up'.

"I always feel sorry for the kids who have birthdays during hibernation."

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

"Hibernation is great son! We sleep through the dreary winters and wake up in the glorious springs!"

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"It's only until spring."

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'How would you like to try sleeping, when somebody's lying next to you snoring for six months?'

"Yes, I know it's spring dear. But can I just have another day or two in bed?"

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

'Yes, my teenage son sleeps a lot too: He didn't wake up until the start of summer...'

Groundhog Day

'I would love to learn to ski too, but when there's snow around, I'm usually asleep...'

"It's bad to sleep on a full stomach..."

"What do you mean 'Just shut up and hibernate?!' It's New Year's Eve!"

'I keep forgetting... is it 'Starve a fever and feed a cold' or 'feed a fever and starve a cold'?'

'I woke up early from hibernation, so I watched TV for two weeks until my parents got up...'

The Hibernation Channel