Health Foodie Gifts

"What makes you so sure our local farmers know what they're doing?"

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

What was good for you is bad for you.

'Bran Muffins' next to 'Jelly Donuts, the Fruit and Fiber Snack.'

"I'm following the paleo diet. Not that there's much choice, of course."

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

"Tia Carmen, strawberries can lessen the risk of developing complications from diabetes!"

Bear eating Nutri-Honey.

Best Before We Added All The Chemicals.

'You're losing weight.'

Vending Machine Pig Out.

Good cop, bad cop

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

'Diet cake: Mix flour, sugar and eggs in a bowl. Pour it into a baking tin at 200°C for 30 minutes and let it cool down. Then, feed it to the birds.'

Before consuming as directed, Millennial Alice needed assurance that they would not disturb her gut health.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

What the Doctor Ordered

"You do like octopus?"