Health Food Store Employee Pillows

Window Cleaning with Mineral Water

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Another day in the Splenda mines

Only One Item or Fewer.

Ghostbasters 3

Office Ergonomics.

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

'Where did you get the meat slicer? France.'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

Middle Manager

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

Self Checkout

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."