Health Food Store Employee Gifts

Window Cleaning with Mineral Water

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Another day in the Splenda mines

Only One Item or Fewer.

Ghostbasters 3

Office Ergonomics.

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

Don't have a hot flush....

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

"This is Piggly Wiggly, what'd you expect?"

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

Woman stuck in frozen aisle.

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Middle Manager

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

'Where did you get the meat slicer? France.'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

Self Checkout

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.