Health Food Enthusiast Pillows

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

'Hi, my name's Krystyn, and I'll be the nutritionist liaison to your waiter tonight.'

"I'll trade you my soy milk for your wheatgrass juice."

Pinocchio's Diner

The day the salad got tossed

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Claiming turmeric has health benefits is one thing—proving it is another."

Pro-Active Yogurt

37 Servings of Vegetables a Day!

"Why am I eating oatmeal for breakfast when we goby 20 fast food places on the way to school..."

Montana Health Food: 'BEEF 'N' BRAN SALOON, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

no offence, but I just can't buy food with a shelf life longer than my life expectancy.

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."

'We squeeze in more pulp and suddenly we're health food!'

"Are you sure this is gluten free?"

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I plant the kale back there to keep hipsters out of the good stuff!"

'The stems are better for you.'

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'My doctor said eating carrots is good for my health.'

'I always considered myself more of a butter-fly'

'Put some brain food in there.'

'How come if a product has less, like sugarless, fat free, or fewer calories, it cost more!?'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Hey, this is a veggie pizza!"

"We're really trying to win over the male consumer."

The real reason salad aids weight loss

No Dogs Allowed

"My son refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?"