Health Education Enthusiast Pillows

Fallopian Tube.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

I will study my speling words...

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Your contents have shifted."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'Your reflexes are still good!'

Lessons in Prehistory.