Health Coverage Commentator Gifts

'No insurance? We don't appreciate comedians round here!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

VACCINATION REFUSAL

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

The Visitor

'In the absence of any meaningful arguments we'd like to shout a few hackneyed cliches!'

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

MLB Owners, Players, Fans

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

'Yours is an elective surgery, so we're still deciding if we feel like doing it or not.'

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'

Obesity in America.

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

CITY CLINIC, 'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

"Is there a doctor in the house to treat someone without health insurance?"

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'The best part - it has health coverage.'

"Side effects include less visits by the grim reaper."

'As far as I'm concerned all this talk of 'privatisation' is just a lot of media hype!'

"A low-level person who doesn't mean anything will see you now."

"The little thin girl inside you that wants to get out now weighs 200 pounds!"

Hospital

Elderly man on phone in bed - 'Press 1 if you have bed sores, Press 2 if you need to go to the toilet...'

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."