Health-conscious Juggler T-Shirts

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"The meeting will come to order."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Brickie's Mate

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Eat lots of carrots."

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'Give it to me straight, doc. How much longer do I have in advertising's prime demographic audience?'

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

Formally foods that were good for you.

"Thank God!"