Health-conscious Juggler Gifts

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"The meeting will come to order."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Brickie's Mate

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

Inbox and Outbox

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"One slice—hold the bread."

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

"Eat lots of carrots."

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Formally foods that were good for you.

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

"You forgot my Diet Cola."