Health Conference Planner Gifts

Obesity crisis conference.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

Be Healthy

Bad for you but to die for

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I love these off-site business meetings."

SAGE mentality

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"Gross."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"