Health Comics Lover Pillows

"The population is 40% overweight and you seem to account for 20% on your own."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Quick! 5-second rule!

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

Orthopaedist

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Hipness Replacement Surgery.

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

Miss Twaddle, cancel all my appointments.

'For Valentine's Day!'

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"