Healthcare Comics Lover Pillows

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Orthopaedist

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Lazy Doctor

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

Golf cart in the hospital.

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

Hospital Gift Shop

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"

'For Valentine's Day!'

"You can have a local anesthetic or imported."

'His heartbeat has been like that ever since he had the pig valve installed.'

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'Second opinion? Come back tomorrow, I will probably have changed my mind by then...'

'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

Well, it's a heck of a time to demand a second opinion.