Health And Wellness Enthusiast Gifts

Woman stands on scales which have two categories: Too Skinny / Too Fat.

'Do you Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure John takes his cholesterol lowering medication every day?'

'There's something wrong here. You have all these risk factors, and yet you're in excellent health.'

Business is picking up, Mortimer.

"Yes, this is a family practice, but you'll have to make separate appointments."

"Look at it this way, dear, if our bodies are 80% water, then you’re not fat, you’re flooded."

Your metabolism slows down as you get older. But time goes faster to make up for it. I have less energy these days, doc --- it was a lot easier pushing 50 than it is pulling it! You need to change your diet. There's more to "eating smart" than making sure somebody else picks up the check. And it's time for you to start exercising regularly ... because your legs are buckling and your belt isn't!

"XXXl is the new XXL."

Hot flush!

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"First, I'd like to know what arrangements your company has for flexitime!"

"A second opinion? - Oh, it's far too late for THAT!"

"The stress test was waiting for me for hours."

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."