Health Account Keeper Pillows

"I'm pleased there's nothing seriously wrong with him. I don't have him insured."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"I didn't spark joy."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Pointing.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Sheep Ledger

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Bathroom Fairy

Cook and her Maids

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Gone Bookkeepin'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

TV and cleaner

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."