Healing Journeyer Pillows

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Psych Ward. Psyched up. Psyched out.

"I suffer from depression since my wife died."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

ET Mishap

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

All we have in life is this moment...

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Have you been working out?'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'