Emotional Journeyer Pillows

'I always say the wrong thing - which makes me feel worse. I don't know how to handle other people's pain.'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"I'm sorry, Nathan, but I need to color outside the lines."

"I'm pregnant."

"He's just the guy I'm using to get over the last guy I dated to get over my first dog."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"I need to stop walking in other people's crap shoes."

'He left me for a guy. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.'

Psychiatrist releases 'bottled-up' angry man.

'Good heavens, don't you people ever think of anyone but yourselves?'

The Repressed Childhood Issue That Broke the Therapist's Couch.

"I wanted you to calm down. But not that calm ... or that far down."

Weeping an Ocean

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Relationship Warning Lights

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Large Emoticon Collider

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

The Map of the Human Heart

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'