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Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

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Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

X-ray Psychology.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'Fitness guru.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

Get well soon!

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Healthy Patients Only

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'