Headgear Guardian Gifts

"I can't let him back in to play. He couldn't tell me what he's making this year."

Cricket Accidents.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

Computer Crimes

Dentist Training School.

The proper way to wear your mask

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

'I fell out of my treestand but fortunately nothing got hurt.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

"I could never go wireless."

Internet Privacy

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

There's nothing like the real thing!

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

"Careful...she bites."

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

A skateboarder falling on his head

'Is the new chip really that fast, or do you just like wearing all the safety gear?'

"O.K., I'm going to demonstrate the proper way to lie to me about flossing."

Safety: 'When Can I Work On My Own?'

Safety wear for the hunted.

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

'I traded mine in for a bicycle helmet!'

Bishop with mitre too big to get through door.

Cyclist

I Hate My Hat Magazine