Headbanging Historian Gifts

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

Archimedes statue with a lever

Motorherd

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Rock On

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

Disease-y Top

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other lik

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'

"Crosby, Stills, Nash & Jung"

Joan Jett

A caveman attempting to make a cart

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

'I've heard it's the new dance craze from America.'

"They must be planning to do a real number on us. It looks like they've brought along an accountant."

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"This was my father's desk, He frequently banged his head on it."

'So Long Marriane' 1946-2025 - 1960's Icon Muse and Actress...I Didn't Do Conventional.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

We love the Rolling Stones...

Graceland

When old rockers trash hotel rooms.

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

He played the infamous suicide note.

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

Useless-memory lane

'Sorry, I'm not disturbing you, am I?' (Man has tattoos, piercings, Satan on forehead)