Head-banging Humorist Gifts

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Motorherd

Hardy Annuals

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. VIII

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

Swelling

'You have no idea how difficult life can be when one is totally irresistible to men, Jane.'

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

Headbanging Woodpecker.

Foreclosure.

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

No Smoking Building.

Predatory Loan Corp.

"l'm returning this to the manufacturer in my own impenetrable clamshell packaging. They must suffer as I have suffered."

"Noise? Noise?!! That was Bullet for my Valentine!"

We Hate the Left, Please Don't Leave Us Lefties

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

Snorting lines of the road on the way to rehab.

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."

Quit humming. You're scaring the fish"

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

'Tch, it's gone in this sandpit. I'll throw it onto the grass.'

'I just got my wings. Now all I need is a pilot's license.'

"You, sir, should be grateful to find a hair in your soup."

"You heard me—turn off that fan."

'Whatever you do, don't offer an extended warranty on that nose-hair trimmer.'

"How embarrassing! Tia Carmen thinks Gracie and I look alike. We'll see about that!"