Head Of Production T-Shirts

'The head of our script department!'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

New music conference

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Blockbuster Billion Club

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"Ronny, there's not going to be any 3-D. The studio wants you to shoot it on your cell phone."

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'