Production Designer T-Shirts

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Effects Dept - Ordinary/Special.

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"I'm sorry Spooner, I'm letting you go. Try to leave without making a scene."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Crap from the future.

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Idle parts

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

I Pagliacci

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

An idea box in a shower

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

Floss Street Vendor

This little pig's house was a facade.

Fricka arrives.

For crying out loud Simon. Would you stop trying to reinvent the drag.