Having Many Children Gifts

"Yeah, my mum never buys individual school photos. With so many of us, it's cheaper to get a group photo..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Grounded

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Mother Goose Timeshare

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

The unforgiving tree

'You could say this is how my husband and I support local arts.'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"At least she's reading."

Milk sideburns

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Act your birth order!"

Why you must go to work

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

Loving family

Husband and Child in Pram

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."