Haute Cuisine T-Shirts

"Sorry, sir, but none of our food is very good. It's the chef's way of punishing the rich."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'We have to put up with a fair bit to find these truffles, but we think they're worth it.'

"Do you mind? I'm new here."

Chefs-R-Us

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Rump roast?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Queen of Quinoa

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Lockdown casserole

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"How's the salmon?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

The Perfect Foil

"The bagels are better in New York."