Harmonious Householders T-Shirts

Cat and dog

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Separation Anxiety

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

Wife growing vegetables in husband's piano

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

Magic Carpet Cleaning

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

'If your mom's not happy then nobody's happy, right dad.'

'Relax, Silly. He's not here for you.'

Feng Shui

Musical washing

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

'Herbert just loves to help with the dishes.'

Hymns and Her

'Oh, you cut the cord too?'

Clean House

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

"It's not so much spring cleaning as it is 'My mom is visiting for Mother's Day' cleaning."

"What are you complaining about? When I met you, you were living in a one-room apartment."

"Sorry, but my mum doesn't want me to invite friends over: She's kind of ashamed we live in a pigsty..."

Romance over the iron boards

"Don't even think about letting them in until the house is dirty again."

"The secret to a good marriage son is to do most of the spring cleaning..."

'You've take up the violin at 76? Must be hell for those living at 74 and 78...'

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

'And that is how you put the toilet seat down. There will be a quiz on Friday'.

'I didn't realize how much I missed her until I ran out of clean clothes and dishes.'

Ethel's offer to iron out Ned's problems turned out to be a problem in and of itself....