Household Harmony Strategists T-Shirts

"Oh, we don't worry about the kids moving back in with us. We didn't leave a forwarding address."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Separation Anxiety

"Hello?"

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

man juggling career, home and children

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

Jason and the Aga notes.

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

Looks like I do dishes again.

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'