Hardware Humorist Gifts

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

'The middle one is cute.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The neames of hardware items are often hard to remember...'I'm looking for a box of metallic pins about 1 inch long and with a pointed tip with a sort of circular surface?' 'Nails! Aisle 2B'

Witness Protection Program

"Do you have anything in a smaller size?"

"And I say they're girl bolts, cause guy bolts usually have two nuts."

I'm a bolt, dummy! Does everything look like a nail to you?!

'We're out of dohickeys. I recommend a thingamabob as a substitute.'

'It says, this plaque was put up with 7/6 inch plugs and flat headed screws"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Hammer chases nails

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Driverless cars rage.

Screen Time vs Book Time

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Darn autocorrect!"

Chef copy robot

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'