Hardcourt Hopeful Gifts

Too small to play forward. Too slow to play guard.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

Judge

Not The Real Me

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

Truth, Justice, Equality and Public Relations