Handy Hobbyist Pillows

"This is where DIY projects go to die."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Bob’s Museum

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

Casual skydiving.

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

Construction safety.

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

"Are. You. Ready. To. Weeeeave?"

"He built his own steps. Apparently, he's loving, smart and impatient."

'They say he's toughest inspector around.'

Sally didn't know art, but she knew what she liked.

"Thanks for your help, but I really don't need it!"

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

Penny Farthing Racing Bike

'Laying them and hiding them is the easy part... it's the hand painting that's tough!'

Prisoner Spotter

God fishing.

'I want the new BX 406, not the 407 and I want expanded memory with a graphics converter...'

'I love how you used human silhouettes to distinguish male and female, since in their species, the sexes actually do look different. Nice touch, I like it, I like it a lot!'

Model Airplanes

'We found the squeak in your car, Mr Disney.'

You broke another pipe?! Let's face it, you're a couple of square pegs in round holes!

'We've had a call about a faulty pilot light.'

This week on The Antique Roadkill

'Would you believe I'm listening to a pod cast of welding instructions?'