Handwriting Critic Gifts

Doctor in pen shop - "I'd like something that both blotches and scratches."

'Young man, your handwriting is atrocious!'

"This note is plainly not from your doctor... I can read it!"

You'll have to rewrite this. I can't read your hen scratching!

'All A's and an F in penmanship. Have you ever thought about becoming a doctor?'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

Letter writing lady.

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

"If you put little crosses on your sevens people will think you're French."

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."

'Did you think that since so few people now use a manual typewriter, I wouldn't notice that you'd typed your penmanship homework?'

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

I love Fountain Pens

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

"I need an editor."

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

"Well of course it's unintelligible. I'm an English professor!"

"JUST SIGN THE CARD!!"

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

"My grandma writes me letters like that. I call it the Grandma Font."

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'I see that you have crossed you t's and opened you e's. That's always a good sign.'

"I love your short-hand. It looks just like a page of wriggly worms!"

'I'm not keen on getting any more apps, but I just had to have this one - it takes my unusually neat handwriting and digitally converts it to sloppy doctor writing.'