Handwashing Gifts

Man looking at 'wash your hands' sign in dirty bathroom.

"I've washed my hands so much, I have 'dishwater hands'!"

Happy Birthday Hand Wash

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

The Brothers Grime

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Whack-a-molecule

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hand sanitizer

Wash your hands

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

You have the worst spring breath.

New Twenty Blades

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Shaving

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Rutger Shower

Floss Street Vendor

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"No, my mom isn't hosing us down with water to keep us cool. She's hosing us down with sunscreen to keep us from burning."

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

"So long, Ma, I'm ridin' off into the sunset."

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."