Handshake Hygienist Gifts

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

Whack-a-molecule

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

Floss Street Vendor

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"I'll grip but I won't grin."

Let's shake on it.

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

"Could you repeat that last joke? I couldn't hear it over all this obnoxious screaming."

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"This must be where the tooth fairy goes to window shop!"

Vernon has a Floss with Death

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

"I know you haven't been flossing. Your electronic toothbrush has been tweeting me."

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Dentist as car mechanic with mouth under the bonnet

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

False teeth and old man in reverse roles.