Hand Sanitizer Fan Gifts

Cold and flu season: Shoot. Now I've gotta go wash my hands.

First aid in mountains

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Tortoise polishing his shell

Dog being carried off by ducks.

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'Science will never find a cure for the common cold, That's all the job security I need,'

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

"Mr. Nwachuku?", "Extra dressing on the side?"

'Botox...' - pumpkin faces

"To play it safe, I've stopped shaking hands and hugging."

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

'It says right here, sir, three times as much iron as other supplements.'

"Hold it! Have you washed your hands?"

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

'It was getting mouldy, so I threw it out.'

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

'Try not to take offense when he says - 'Of all the hip joints in all the world etc etc.''

"Looks like you're already familiar with the side effects."

Mask Rules

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

Man shaving from foam on a mug of beer.

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

"And she's had her tentacles waxed."

"The codeine is ok and the phenobarbital is ok, but the FDA says no to the powdered bat's tooth."

Take two of these placebo tablets every day for three weeks, and that hypochondria should clear right up.

Warning! Do not slam into this sign while chasing after fly balls.

"Hello. . . Police? We've been burgled! The bastards have taken all of our soap, hand sanitiser and toilet rolls!"