Hammer Hero Gifts

How I learned to stop worrying and start hammering

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

Like father like son.

Woodwork

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

A Bloody Butcher

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Smile

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

Football.

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

"You spoil that Hamster."

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"FISH ON"

Office Safety.

'Your Dad'll give your bike back when he realises he won't qualify for 2012.'

Prehistoric bikes and their advanced helmets.

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

Carpenter

"What an amazing view!"

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

One Man Band

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups